Me: It's been quite long, I had a tete-a-tete with you. Let me grab a cup of coffee and then we can start a friendly chat.
Zindagi: Surely, get some for me too.
Me: So how are you doing?
Zindagi: You tell me first (wearing a shy smile), how'z life?
Me: Life has been always very kind to me. But this is I, who keeps on complicating it like a spoiled brat.
Zindagi: I don't have any idea what are you talking about!! You are still not happy with me? But I offered almost everything and anything you asked for; now you are being rude.
Me: I'm not being rude friend; I'm speaking the truth. I am slowly turning into a soul, with a constant strive to attain a 'Better Version'.
Zindagi: Better in what respect??
Me: Better in all respect. I am struggling to be a better human being. I want to incline towards intelligence more and more. I want more wisdom, more knowledge. I want to be more artsy and a better artist. I am reading one book after another. I am trying hard to achieve better and far better 'way of writing'. I want to see more places,want to travel more to be a better traveler with more & more travel stories to tell.
Zindagi: So a strong roof over your head, a loving family around you, few amazing friends through your thins & thicks, healthy haimish food cooked by Mom, an excellent academic background, the IIT gold medal and a degree of 'PhD' arriving soon can no longer pamper your stubborn soul ?
Me: I feel protected because you have blessed me with all those. Yes, I feel 'protected' and I feel 'fortunate'. But, the idea of being 'protected' and 'fortunate' is not working any more. I am feeling it for a while now, that weird sense of awakening. A gentle rage, simmering inside me, getting stronger day by day. I don't want to destroy it, rather want to nurture it with great love and courage.
Zindagi: Now, what do you want me to offer you?
Me: Omens, Signals, Symbols. I need courage from you. I want you to guide me in deciphering this 'mysterious force'. The force that is ingressing through my nerve and vein, emerging in mind's turbulence and making my entire existence absurdly restless.
Zindagi: I am no one to deliver you 'the Omens, the Signals and the Symbols'. The Universe delivers these to me and I pass it on to your soul. So, ask your soul to receive it and interpret it for you. By the way, why do you need courage !! Do you lack it and what do you fear?
Me: I terribly lack it and I fear CHANGE. I am protected with a well established and stable research career. Every passing second, I try to excel in my field. Whenever, my research articles get published in international journals, I feel so much contended. I feel the joy of creation, the joy of innovation. But still I feel, the joy I am getting from my routine invention is not that one I am looking for. Some void spaces, some emptiness are still left. These empty void spaces are absolutely without soul, without life.
Zindagi: What did you do, if you were not afraid?
Me: I would have broken the comfort of regularity. I would have demolished the ease of routine. I would have picked up the adventure of being a dancer, a writer, a singer, an artist, a traveler, a painter, a story teller or a fashion designer may be.
Zindagi: Go and do that, if you weren't afraid.
Me: I told you, I lack courage. I am afraid of the dangerous and destructive outcomes of being adventurous.
Zindagi: If adventure is dangerous , routine can be the death trap. Adventure has a soul in it, Routine is deprived of it. Your soul can never meet its destiny through routine, but an adventure may surely help.
Me: So what should I do now? Should I leave my routine research career. The career which ate ages of dedications and hard works to come in a desirable shape, a shape that made me proud, that made me happy. Would it be realistic?
Zindagi: This materialistic world and routine would kill you every moment, by some decent, apparently friendly phrases like 'Be Realistic'. You don't have to necessarily leave what you do on routine basis. You are way more blessed that your routine is at least making you happy, making you feel proud. Though that happiness and joy lacks soul. Think of billions and millions of people who neither feel happy nor proud with what they do. But you have to cross the zenith of reality, you have to push yourself out of your comfort zone. Only then you will meet your soul, will find the joy you are constantly searching for.
Me: I am feeling like dumb, I couldn't get anything.
Zindagi: Keep your passion alive, so alive that their soul becomes visible. Keep doing research, excel in your own field as it would bring safety and protection to your soul. Safety and protection accelerates the arrival of happiness. No one on this earth exists who can't find time for their passions. 'Busy' is just a pseudo feeling and the idea of being 'Busy' is a virtual one.
Be busy to meet your destiny. Be busy to reveal your suppressed latent talent. After doing research, dance. Dance to the point exhaustion. Dance, until you feel detached from your body.
Write as much as you can. Read whatever you get. Fall in love with words, with the expression radiating through the words. Thread the stack of words with amazing eutaxy. Write, until your words fall in love with you.
Travel the world, meet new people, see new places. God said 'Love this world'; go and obey him. Travel, until this world loves you back. Don't worry for money, just make it work. Walk the narrow cobble-stoned streets, climb the mountains, embrace the breaking waves in sea, kiss the fountains, meet your gaze with the infinity of a desert, take warmth from a rising sun and coolness from the sinking sun, wish upon the shooting stars in dark sky. Collaborate with the nature.Listen to its story, its music.
Love the brush, love the ink, love the paper. Converse with them. Keep repeating your drawing again and again until you get assured that the brush, the ink and the paper loved you enough to gift you a masterpiece.
Ask the sheet of cloth to love the needle, though it hurts the cloth. Tell it, the needle is giving the pain to make it beautiful, to define its existence, to convert it from just a sheet of cloth into a beautiful attire. Love both the cloth and the needle. Run the needle through the fibers so delicately, so lovingly that both the needle and the sheet of cloth help you to deliver what you desire from them. Adorn them with lace, with ribbons, with glitters, with colorful beads, with silk, with beautiful pattern of stitches, with embroidery. The fashion designer would surface herself through a researcher.
Me: The process would exhaust me.
Zindagi: When you do something with your soul, the exhaustion can never creep in. It is the body that feels exhausted. Whatever you do, writing research articles, dancing, traveling, reading, sewing or whatever; do it in a way so you attain the 'Ecstasy'. You will rise up in the space, digging the new dimensions, still remaining in touch with your body. The material plane and the spiritual plane would peacefully co-exist, being bridged by love. There should not be any moment of 'nothingness'. The void space and emptiness should be replaced by love.
Me: Routine was my cup of tea, but I want to drink champagne now.
Zindagi: From shooting star, With love.
Thanks for stopping by. How was the chat ? Would be pleased to know your thought.